"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are." - Rachel Naomi Remen
I want to take this opportunity to offer support to those of you gearing up for the upcoming 90 Day Transformation Challenge. I’m sure you are feeling both anxiety and excitement. Will this actually help you transform your life? There are lots of mixed emotions and perhaps you are also feeling unsure of where to start.
I’m sure most of you have heard plenty of advice and tips on nutrition and exercise and probably have a good idea of what you should do. The question is why don’t you do it? Do you feel like something is wrong with you? Why can others find the will power yet you struggle?
I have been there my friends. I have stood where you are standing and felt those feelings.
Let me be the first to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. That confusion and frustration is normal and it’s important that you know the life takes constant navigation and redirection. Once you reach one goal there will be another to tackle. There will always be issues and problems to overcome. As cliche as it may sound it is important that you see this as a journey not a destination. Find a way to enjoy the marathon…don’t just dream of the finish line.
I want to give you some advice today that is more outside the box than you’re probably used to hearing. Yes, things like nutrition, meal prep, and exercise are all important. Being consistent with these habits are in fact key, but if you haven’t built a strong foundation of pillars below all this, your house will keep falling to the ground again and again.
I want to share five pillars that I feel are crucial to your health, well being and overall quality of life. These elements were my main focus when I began my journey toward health over ten years ago and I don’t believe I would be where I am today without them.
I want to transform these pillars into questions. Ask yourself these questions and determine if it’s something you need to address. Let’s create the strongest, most solid foundation possible for you to start building from.You need to determine what you are missing by looking in places you’ve likely been skipping right over.
Do you have love and compassion for yourself?
Your thoughts are your reality. What you think of yourself becomes your reality and beyond that dictates what you allow yourself to achieve in life. Yes, I said what you allow yourself to achieve. If you don’t love and value yourself - unconditionally - you will not likely achieve those goals you are after. One of the most important aspects of taking on a new challenge is believing you are capable of it. If you start something with the mentality of “I can’t”…then you won’t. It is as simple as that. You also need to offer yourself compassion. The road to success is bumpy, and zigzags and twists and turns. It is not a straight line and it is not easy. Nothing great will ever come easy. Self-compassion is essential to get through that storm.
Can you find appreciation for the struggle?
Many people want to avoid the struggle. The catch is, the struggle is the only way to get to that next level. This is true in every aspect of life. The greatness of the victory is directly related to the struggle it took to attain it. Can you find a way to embrace this struggle? If you see it for what it is, which is the process of growth, you can start to accept it and perhaps even embrace it. Struggle and discomfort bring evolution.
Do you accept your reality?
This one is hard. Can you accept the things that have happened or are happening to you? Life will offer up many unwanted changes, losses and completely unfair situations that you didn't sign up for. You don’t have control over many things that have happened to you or that will happen to you. Yes, there is a time to be upset, angry, devastated (insert any emotion here) about the situation. Rage, cry and shake your fist at the sky because you are right, it is not fair. It is so important to let those emotions out. All of you have experienced a good cry or scream into a pillow that somehow set you free despite nothing about your situation actually changing, right? The key is finally coming to accept what is. Is it fair? No. But it is reality and you need to accept it. Sometimes you have to revisit your anger or sadness over and over, but you need to find your way back to acceptance or you will never move forward. Moving forward means learning from the experience or even finding the beauty in it. Perhaps that tremendous loss can help you appreciate your life and the people and things in it even more. Maybe that door that just slammed in your face is the only way the next door will open. Do you realize that through that new door you are likely walking towards incredible people and experiences you never would have known if that first door didn’t close? Find acceptance for what is so you can grow and be open to those new experiences awaiting you.
Are you trying to avoid failure?
I see this so much as a coach. So many people don’t even want to attempt something new for fear of failure. I believe this stems from living in a culture that highlights success without showing the process or the struggle. Everyone who ever accomplished anything had to take that first step. All of them failed and failed and failed again before they achieved that highlight you saw. If we put more emphasis on the process and the hard work and dedication…most importantly the necessary failing, I believe more people would be willing to take that first scary step. If you are trying to avoid failure you are doing it wrong. Embrace failure. Prepare to fail. Plan on it! That is what it takes to be great. That is what it is to be human. Be vulnerable. Be open. Be able to laugh at yourself. Be able to fail and get right back up.
Do you fear change?
A huge inhibitor for many of us is the fear of change. We’ve always done things one way and we don’t know what will happen if we try something new. We are creatures of habit. I am here to assure you that you can grow comfortable with any habit if you are consistent enough. Let those habits and rituals that don’t serve you go. If these are not habits that contribute to your health and happiness why are you clinging to them? Because it’s what you know and the unknown can be scary. I encourage you to welcome change, and all the fear and excitement that comes with it. That is what truly living feels like. Do more things that scare you. Embrace change! Find a new way to do things and see if it feels better for you. If it doesn’t then try something else. Don’t leave any stone unturned and stop looking under the same stone over and over again. If what you tried last year and the year before didn’t work for you, stop that cycle and try something new!
Your mentality, thoughts and beliefs determine the trajectory of your life. They will either support you or stop you in your tracks. You are your thoughts. That imperative first step is to look inward and check your foundation. A strong, solid foundation is needed to build that quality life you are longing for.
I hope this will help launch you into new self-discoveries that will guide you through your life. As always, reach out to any of the LFT coaches for support.
Until next time BOOMers. See you in the Boom Room!
Ready to join us in the Boom Room? Sign up here and start today! Ask about details to participate in our 2019 90-DTC!
Coach Loni also runs the LFT blog, bringing you informative, uplifting and motivating articles and videos to help you achieve your goals and live your best life.